We'll see how long this sticks...

I've been really getting frustrated with the dystonia. it's been getting progressively worse after this 4 months or so of ease. tried botox again, doesn't seem to be doing anything. and i'm obsessing. going back on konopin. maybe i should try the artane?

getting angry?

thoughts of shooting it out of my brain.

jealousy of others.

frozen, hard to do anything about it. i have the name of some folks i really want to talk to but i don't know how to make the contact. that's the frustrating part of the medical system. getting heard.

sometimes i feel if i had lots of money i could hire someone to invent all the crazy ideas i have of how to help treat and cope with it.

is it worse/better to get it in your hand/foot?

the whole "able-bodied" thing.

list of ideas:

* gotta get back in touch with fella from prosthetics place with that nerve-zapper.

* a different shoe that prevented foot from going too far to trigger point.


things i should be doing:

* tai chi
* physical therapy at OHSU
* practicing my exercises from p.t.
* lose weight
* feldenkrais?
* massage?
* artane?
* revisit accupuncture?
* find a good form for people with f.d. and become active on it
* accept